Optimism

My new year resolution is to rule out any negativity in life, & perhaps try to live positively. It's not gonna be easy for a pessimist like me, having to delude myself that everything is okay and happy is like the biggest joke ever. But I'll continue to psycho myself because that is the only way to be a happier person.

One day I'll finally learn to take things easy and believe that things are really okay.

But at this instance, what I am feeling is a dull kind of shittiness. It's like okay but not entirely okay. 

It's because of my phone. 

Can't help thinking about how things took a 180 degrees change so instantly. I was holding it one moment and the next moment I don't even know its whereabouts. I've accepted it. Just needa whine a little more to feel better.

This incident is a reminder to myself that I need to protect/fight for what I want to keep in life - not just items but also people and all the intangibles - even though they may not seem important to me at this moment. 

Why do humans only see the importance in things after losing them? It's too late. We've all lost things before and regretted not fighting to keep them. Somehow I never learn from it. There are so many things, how do I know which are the right things to treasure?

I pay such high prices for lessons that I'll never learn. Most of the time I can't even be bothered. Because nothing else matters when a girl loses the only thing she's ever wanted.